The Fall

I sit at my chair, next to the window. Looking out over the small side street that I've called home for 40 years. The trees look like flaming signals of the end of summer, Soon their branches will be bare and naked, left out in plain view for the world to see. Sometimes I wonder if they're ever nervous, knowing that they can't hide anything from anyone for a long while. Then I realize that they're sleeping, and sleeping beings care not for how the world sees them.

I draw in a breath a little to deep and get thrown into another one of my coughing fits, and it brings memories rushing into my old, tired mind. Of sunny days and old photographs, and the smell of her perfume. Birthday parties and children running through the house, the pitter patter of little bare feet on the hardwood, and tears start to blur my vision. All of my children are grown now, busy living their lives and raising broods of their own. And I'm wasting away in my home, the holes in my heart slowly healing, but still painful enough to stop me from trying to live anymore. After Millie died, I would close the curtains and lay in our bed, wrapped around her pillow. What else could I do? I'm an old man, the wrinkles mapping out the years of hard work and little recognition across my features. The only thing I have left anymore is the loneliness in my heart, and in the halls of this creaky old house.

Oh, how this house is like an extension of me. Our paint is faded and chipping, our foundation isn't as stable as it used to be. Our windows are foggy, our gutters are leaking, and we exist as if we've been abandoned. But we have each other. I can't get around like I used to, I can't keep her fixed up the way I once did. But she doesn't mind, as long as I stay. But for how long? The room is getting dark, and I can't tell if it's the sun setting on the day, or on my life. I think of Millie, her warm smile, and sunlight in her blonde hair. Her arms outstretched for me, beckoning me to hold her, and walk through our new home.

If I could have one last wish, it would be that after this life, I could exist in my happiness forever. When our children were young and needed us, and when Millie was alive, and we could take care of things ourselves, and we were stable. Back when it felt like nothing would ever change. I can see her again, in her favorite green dress and her apron with the stains on it, her bob brushing at her shoulders. Red lips and smooth skin and happy days. I reach out for her, and then I realize that it's just me in this dusty old room, and my hand comes into focus.

My wrinkled hand, smaller and weaker than how I remembered it. When did I become so frail? When could I no longer be on my own? I stand, slowly, but with purpose. I take up the cane that she had made for me, the one with our initials carved into the handle, worn smooth but still there if you knew where to run your thumb. I grab my key and bid the house farewell, and a short breath of wind breezes by, like a sigh. I grab my cap and put it on my head, and my light jacket and the scarf Millie knitted for me, now with holes in it, and it's color faded. I walk out of the door, locking it behind me, and start to make my way down the street.

The sidewalks start to blend together, and I don't realize exactly what I've come to do until the large wrought iron gates and stone sign come into my view. At Rosehill, there is a large monument with a bible laid open on a pedestal. The book is the size of a twin bed, maybe a bit bigger. On it's pages are the ten commandments, and Millie and I loved to go to that book and run our hands over the ornate engravings. I made my way up the hill to the book, up the short steps that led to it. The words were a little faded, but they were still as heavy in their stern sovereign as they had been all those years ago. I run my hand along the words, imagining her small hand underneath mine, moving with me, her slender fingers running across the words like an athlete. I pat the book, thanking it for the good memories, and turn away. I walk down the steps, and head to the back of the cemetery.

In a row of graves shadowed by a large oak tree, whose leaves were orange and brown and gold, is her grave. I slowly kneel where she lies, brushing away the leaves and debris, using the sleeve of my jacket to polish up the smooth marble, black with lightening bolts of white and grey running through the surface. I kiss her portrait that is encased by stone, and lay down. The sun is setting and night is soon to come, but I'm so warm. I feel so at peace. I know my fall has ended, the time for slumber is here.

Monday Movie Review

Good afternoon little bloggies, how have you been? Did you enjoy your weekend while it lasted? My days have been totally thrown off. I could have sworn it was Wednesday on Thursday. I'm so silly sometimes! Today I'm waiting to hear from a place that I've applied to for my start date. I'm hoping they'll contact me soon so I can get started, I feel so lazy just hanging around the apartment! I could also really use the money. However, I'm feeling a little under the weather, maybe because I haven't smoked in a few days. I've discovered that if you smoke pretty frequently and suddenly stop for a couple of days, you get a pretty bad cough until your lungs clear out. Then again, I'm also sneezing and kind of dizzy, so maybe this rainy weather has me down. I'm sure I'll feel better here after a while though.

Until then, I've been thinking about a lot of different stuff. I don't really have a theme for this blog, it's basically always going to be changing, just like a river, hence the name of my blog. So for today, I'm going to review a movie I watched! Yaaaay!

This is the movie cover. I got it from this site.

"The Virgin Suicides" is the name of the movie I watched today. It's based on a book of the same name, and it's the story of five sisters from a small suburb in Michigan during the late 70's. The movie begins with the youngest sister, Cecilia Lisbon, attempting to commit suicide by slitting her wrists. She fails at this attempt and sees a psychologist (played by Danny Devito in a quick cameo) who informs her parents that they are too strict. A few weeks later, the parents allow the girls to have their first and last party, where Cecilia excuses herself and succeeds in committing suicide by jumping from her second story window and impaling herself on the fence below. The movie continues as the life of the family slowly spirals downwards, their mysterious lives becoming the hot topic in the town's day to day gossip. The entire movie is told from the point of view of a group of boys who obsess over the girls, both in their lives and in their deaths. What's very interesting about this movie is that the narration is set up so that you never truly know who is narrating the story. From what I've looked up, the book was written the same way, and as you read the book you kind of become one of the neighbors of the town, on the outside of the situation looking in.

Cinematography: I give this and 8 out of 10. It was very beautiful and dreamy, I love the indie feel to the movie and how spot on the style of everything was, including the camera filter.

Script: The script was well written, and there are a few good quotes to be taken from the movie. I'll give the writing a 9 out of 10.

Acting: The acting was all done very well, especially considering how young some of these kids were. My favorite actor out of the whole movie was the mother. You didn't really see much of her, but you could tell that she had no idea what effect her isolation practices were having on her children. She played a confused woman who didn't know just how much at fault she was. I give the acting a 9 out of 10.

Book to movie comparison: Well, I haven't read the book, but since watching this movie I definitely want to give it a shot.

Similar books/movies: A similar book would be "TH1RTEEN R3ASONS WHY" by Jay Asher. It's a wonderful read for teenagers to adults. The book will seriously change your life. I would suggest this to every kid entering high school.

Well there you have it, my mini-movie review! I don't know if this is the template I'll follow for all of my movie reviews, but that's why this place is as creative as water. Everything is always changing!!

Well my little bloggies, I'm off to clean, but I have questions for you! Do you think you'll watch this movie? have you read either of these books? What did you think of them? How would you feel about "Monday Movie Reviews" for my blog? Leave a comment and let me know, or just talk at me. :D Bye bye bloggies!

A-Zs of me me me!!

So the mister and I are staying up late because he has the day off tomorrow. Since he's hogging Modern Warfare 2 I figured I'd hop on and see if any of my favorite bloggers had updated, and lo and behold The Nearsighted Owl and Otterly Brilliant had both updated with A-Z lists. Basically, you go A through Z with facts about yourself. Rachele said that her new followers should do this and send her a link, so I think I will!! It also helps since I still don't have an about section that I've put a lot of love into.

Here we go!!

A: Age: 19

B: Bed Size: King, but I take up the bed all to myself since the mister decides that he wants all of the blankets.

C: Chore that you hate: I don't really have a chore that I hate, but right now I strongly dislike putting clothes away. Since we've moved we still have to find space for old stuff as well as new stuff, and my clothes are causing a lot of problems.

D: Dogs: I've owned both dogs and cats all of my life!! I've had a few great dogs and a lot of good cats. I've also owned geckos and a raccoon at one point, and I hope to get an iguana in the near future.

E: Essential start to your day: Hitting the snooze button about five or six times. It gets annoying, but I can't seem to help myself. Then I like to make a pot of coffee, and I'll have a cup with sugar and milk to cool it down so I can drink it right away.

F: Favorite color: It's definitely a tie between red and blue, but I go with blue in most of my wardrobes. It looks better since my eyes are hazel and my hair is dark brown.

G: Gold or Silver: I like silver a lot, because it goes with anything and it never comes across as too gaudy.

H: Height: 5'4"

I: Instruments you play: I've played bass a little tiny bit, and I know the bare bones of Fur Elise on piano. Other than that, I stick to singing.

J: Job Title: Temporary employee, transitioning student, less than part time artist, and even less than that time as a writer. I have many interests, none of which have become reliable careers. D:

K: Kids: None right now, I'm definitely going to hold off for a while until I'm ready, both financially and mentally.

L: Live: I live in Springfield, Ohio, near Dayton. I like to go visit a little hippie town called Yellow Springs that is very artsy and has the best little shops for everything! The comic book store there has a pet cat.

M: Mother's name: My mom's name is Leeann. She has really pretty blue eyes and she's really strong.

N: Nicknames: Curly Top, Shirley Temple, Lor-chan, Lore, Killer Mermaid Witch Thing. XD My favorite however, is Lor.

O: Overnight hospital stays: Only once or twice. One time was an ice skating incident, and the other I believe was a car accident. It's hard to keep track though, I've had so many accidents in my short 19 years!!!

P: Pet Peeves: Ignorant people, especially when it comes to race, religion, sexual orientation, or anything of that nature. I also can't stand it when someone is wrong and they know that they are but they continue pushing that they're right until you beat them within an inch of their life with knowledge.

Q: Quote from a movie: "If you stand for nothing, you'll fall for anything." - Sucker Punch. That movie had a bunch of really good quotes though.

R: Right or left handed: I'm right handed, but my poppy is left handed. My mister is right handed! :D

S: Siblings: Two older half-sisters, one is a psycho and the other one isn't too far behind.

T: Time you wake up: Usually around 9:30 a.m., however my alarm starts ringing at 8:30. XD

U: Underwear: Um, from time to time? XD I like the hhw sporties. They're comfy boy shorts that fit well! :D

V: Vegetable you hate: I don't have any vegetables I hate.... Oh, I hate canned spinach. I love fresh spinach though!! :D

W: What makes you run late: Having to be awake earlier than humanly possible.

X: X-rays you've had: One for my right leg after an accident and one for my tummy when we thought I had appendicitis. D:

Y: Yummy food that you make: Swedish Tea Rings!! Though, I'm thinking of trying to tweak is so that I can make it kind of like an apple tea ring, with apples baked inside with the cinnamon and brown sugar and using apple butter for a glaze!

Z: Zoo Animal: Flying Foxes!! I can't remember the actual name, but they're a very large breed of bat, and they're super cute!!

So there we go, now you guys know a fair bit about me. Isn't that grand? :D If anyone else reads this, you should give it a go, it's definitely fun!

Peace my little bloggies. <3

What's going on?

So today and yesterday I've been fairly productive. I put together an antique drafting table with nothing but a dime. Seriously, I didn't even have the directions to put the damn thing together. Seeing as it hasn't fallen apart yet, I think I'm in the clear. And, I only had one piece that I left off because I didn't know what to do with it! Of course, it's probably the single most important part of the whole damn thing, but I'll find out the hard way. :D

I found myself a new mister, who is very wonderful and loving and perfect because sometimes he's a total douche, but I counter it with my ultra-douche behavior. Sometimes though, I deserve to get called out when I do stupid stuff. XD

Anywho, we just got an apartment together!! *squee* So I've been playing housewife by cooking and cleaning and putting shit together while I wait for the start date for my new job. I can't wait to start working, I want money for groceries and to decorate the apartment with video game/band/movie paraphernalia!! As I'm writing this I'm putting off doing the dishes and vacuuming, but don't worry, I'll definitely do it today. I'm just glad I finally got the living room organized. Of course, while I've been procrastinating I've been following my favorite blogs and considering redesigning my own. Maybe I will, it's kind of flat looking. >.>

So for a blog you guys need to check out, here is the one! The Nearsighted Owl is amazing, I absolutely adore this lady! She's nice, she is pretty, her hair is awesometastic, she's artistic and talented, she loves thrifting, and she loves kitties!! :D Basically, she has all around great tastes, and I guarantee that if you click on all of her links to other bloggers you will be satisfied/fall in love with 99.5% of them. So just give her a click and be entertained for a while.

Peace out my little bloggies!

Bloglovin'

I've begun using www.bloglovin.com to follow my favorite blogs. I can also manage this one from there. You should go. :D It's easy to find your favorite bloggers and follow them from all the different sites.

Follow my blog with Bloglovin

Tattletale

When I was in the third grade, I didn't have too many problems with being picked on. Yeah, you had the usual kids who were always assholes, but everyone had to deal with them. Most of the kids who were bullies came from the wrong side of the tracks in our village. They had the fucked up families, the bad homes, and the inability to understand themselves much less anyone else. I'm pretty good at dealing with people who have problems now a days, but back then it was a little harder.

There was one kid that I had class with named Josh Jarvis. He and his brother Jason were pretty bad by the way of young dumb children, and generally always got into trouble for something. In fact, last time I checked they were still assholes, and unfortunately their little sister is the exact same as them. *Que the eyeroll*. Anyways, back to the story.

It was recess, so we were all running around outside and stuff. I went over to this piece of playground tomfoolery that we called "The New Equipment". It had slides on it, one side was shaped like a mountain that you could climb up, and it had monkey bars attached to the side. It was a fairly tall piece of playground equipment. I was walking along the bottom of the equipment trying to decide whether I should climb up or wait for the crowd to thin out a bit when I felt something wet hit the sleeve of my shirt. Looking down, there was a wet spot that was fairly large. Of course, I look up to see whether it may have started raining, and I see Josh Jarvis leaning over the top of the equipment with a shit-eating grin on his face.

I thought, "There is no way he would just spit on me for no reason..." Of course, he proved my doubts to be false when he began to hawk another loogey. Fearing for my health, I ran for the blacktop. The black top is where our teachers with recess duty would stand and make sure we didn't do anything stupid, so of course I approached one of them. I explained to her that he had spit on me, and since she wasn't a teacher from my grade level I made sure to explain what he looked like to her. I assumed that since spitting on people isn't socially acceptable, he would at the very least have to stand against the brick wall of the building for ten minutes.

"Lorelei, don't be a tattletale."

Wait, what?

No, seriously, what in the fuck?

First of all, I can understand why she might have said something along those lines if I had been lying, but she had no reason to think that I was lying. I had never lied to any of my teachers before, I was pretty much known for my good behavior and for being well-versed in unusual knowledge, but never for something like lying. However, she said tattletale, not liar. To be a tattletale, you have to be a snitch. That means you tell on someone for doing something bad. How is that wrong? Especially at a young age when disciplinary action can mold how a child will compose themselves in the future? So, if I were to be walking down the street and I see a man grab a young girl and throw her into a van, will the police tell me not to be a tattletale if I try to report a kidnapping?

You know, this is the perfect example of a teacher who has grown complacent. An authoritative figure who has become content to sit back and watch the societal collapse of new generations because they either don't want to or maybe even can't teach a child how to act like they've got some sense. In the end, I'm not upset about being spat on, I'm pissed off that I was called a tattletale for no fucking reason. The fact that something that insignificant has stuck with me through all these years annoys me as well. Of course, when I tried to tell her that I wasn't being a tattletale, she made me stand against the brick wall for ten minutes. In the end, I got punished just because I wanted justice.

Teachers are part of the reason why I hate the school system. Now, I know not all teachers are like that, but after years of dealing with ungrateful kids you turn bitter. Just... don't deny someone their right to justice, and don't be afraid to discipline someone so that they understand that there are some things you can't do in the real world.

Like spit on people.

I'll get you yet you little bastard... >.>